As I sit here at incheon Airport, my experience in Vietnam now only exists as a memory. No longer will I be able to sit on my Silver Honda Wave motorbike and ride through the streets of Hanoi at night with a pack of my friends on their Honda Waves. No longer will I be able to walk down the street and eat the delicacy of street foods in Com Sinh Vien. No longer will I be able to sit at the corner alley and sip on a cup of Tra Da. No longer will I be able to dance hideously with my friends at the toilet pub, and no longer will I be able to breath the fresh Vietnam air. Although I am not that emotional, as I sit here and write about how I will no longer be able to do these things, my eyes are in fact tearing up. It was on the plane ride here to Incheon where I just sat and remember every good memory, and also bad memory I had of Hanoi, and other parts of Vietnam. I did not want to be on the airplane heading back to America. I wanted to be in Vietnam for a couple of more days, spending it with good friends and good company before I re-enter the life of monotony. That is what awaits me back home.
The concluding days I spent in Vietnam were in Saigon. I hung out with my good friend Julie Nguyen, and my cousin Hao for most of the time. I also spent time with my friend Phuong who is a Saigon local, and also a Viet Kieu like myself, Khanh who is back after studying abroad with CIEE last semester. Chris Minh and Shane were also in town and we spent a little time with them. During this time, it was hard to just enjoy the moment for just the moment. Each time we spent time together, the thought of this soon coming to an end would always accompany the good company. Helpless thoughts. I couldn’t make my trip longer. It was going to come to an end, and now it has. But now that I sit here and of course am quite depressed about the entire situation, I am glad to look back this life changing experience as one of the best experiences of my life thus far. I cannot complain one bit about anything. I have met spectacular people that I hope to see very soon in the near future, and have forged a love for Vietnam. It is an experience to remember forever.
This notion of “reverse-culture shock”, as I initially laughed at during my time in Vietnam, I believe is right on my tail. Living nearly 6 months in a country, and you will begin to get used to how life is there. Nearly 6 months in Vietnam and I have become accustomed to the ways of Vietnam life. My necessities are different now than they were 6 months ago. Living in a third world country, you begin to appreciate things more. Going back to the U.S. I may have so much more means to do things, so much more things at my leisure, but really, to me, it does not matter too much anymore. I’d rather eat some street food for 5,000 D than go to a buffet in the states. Who really needs a buffet? The luxurious life of the states no longer really appeals to me, and was on the downfall as I left Vietnam anyways. As I see it, reverse-culture shock is more prominent in those who are Vietnamese-American–with this experience that is. Many of my friends expressed how much they will miss Vietnam and everything about it. My friend Kevin cried for 3 hours on the plane on his trip back to the States. Vietnam really does leave a huge imprint on one who has a strong connection to the country. My forecast for the next couple of months will appear grim and mostly grey. How I will deal with that? Most likely try to reach out and make friends with Vietnamese international students who are studying in the U.S. Talk to my friends who I studied with in Vietnam and those who share the same feeling as I do about Vietnam. I feel that only these two things will helpful. People at home I do not think will be able to understand at all what I’m going through. My friends back at home cannot help me with this. My family cannot either. It really sucks even thinking about this reverse culture shock shit, but I suppose its good to expect the worst.
Vietnam, I will miss you. Every amazing person I have met in Vietnam, I will miss you most. Goodbye Vietnam!
Another blog will be created upon my return for my life back in Chicago.
Until next time,
Tran, Quy-Hac.
My new blog is:
http://tranquyhac.wordpress.com
10 Comments
December 27, 2006 at 9:41 am
Quy Hac yeu,
Me can feel your sadness! but that is life, there is a saying in Vietnamese:”Ngay vui qua mau” “Hop roi Tan” nothing last forever! those experiences in life make you grow. Those experiences that you encounter lately will add to your lifelong memories. You will have to adjust and learn from lots of experiences thru your lifetime. I hope you will be able to come back to Vietnam one day may be next time with your family. Be strong and be happy! It’s ok to be emotional but life goes one, there are a lot of things await for you to discover. Every body is waiting for you here at home.
Love,
Me
December 27, 2006 at 10:39 am
Dị Biệt Văn Hoá Môi Trường
Giữa Con Tôi và Tôi
Thơ tâm sự của 2 thế hệ
Cũng trong môi trường sinh vật đó,
Tôi đã từng mơ ước một bình minh,
Song dĩ vãng chắt chiu toàn tủi nhục,
Vì con người chia cắt đứt tình ngưới,
Tôi vẫn mộng giấc mơ ngày tuổi trẻ,
Một thôn làng chan chứa với tình thương,
Cha mẹ họ hàng không ai đấu tố,
Để gia đình không tang tóc thê lương,
Cuộc nội chiến, nội thù không còn nữa,
Khi nhận ra do sức ép cuộc đời,
Con giết bố, anh em tương tàn mãi,
Hối hận rồi nhưng dĩ-vãng vẫn theo tôi,
Tôi khát vọng những ngày yên bình cũ,
Song quê tôi kỳ thị vẫn trong đời,
Dị biệt ấy, tại sao, không xoá được?
Là nạn nhân của trí tuệ một thời,
Trong khoảng khắc tôi mong con tôi lớn,
Sẽ thoát ra vùng văn hoá tối tăm,
Mang tin yêu, lý tưởng, tình nhân bản,
Vào hướng đời chân thiện mỹ quê tôi!
Trọng Thùy Sơn – 12/06
Dear Qúy Hạc:
My poem is a gift for you to understand general and different human settings and psycho feelings.
Further discussion will be at home and I appreciate your honest feed back of the psycho
of a young man who is facing his existence between different cultural settings, in which, he would be shocked and gradually adjusted to attain his maturity in this human culture.
Bo Son
December 27, 2006 at 3:23 pm
Nice blog entry. This is my new blog site to deal with being back. Catch you later buddy. I’ll be here for you on AIM whenever you need a homie to talk to…
December 27, 2006 at 3:24 pm
my bad, my site is:
kevinle7.wordpress.com
December 28, 2006 at 2:17 pm
Hac, that was a beautiful entry. No worries man, we are all here for you and we will need each other to cope with this reverse culture shock.
December 29, 2006 at 12:53 am
Hac – I totally understand how you feel. I get the reverse culture shock too. And I cried on the plane as I was leaving Vietnam. And truth be told, I still am not over it, I miss Vietnam, I miss my daily life there. From those experiences I spent in Vietnam it made me realize that it is where I’m meant to be and it is truly where I am happy.
Even with all the material goods and luxuries available in the United States, I can live without them. What I can’t live without is the emotional happiness I get when I’m in Vietnam. Nothing replaces the feeling of familiarity and “home” I get when I’m in Vietnam, and nothing replaces the relationships with friends there.
Hope to one day see you in VN again.
February 10, 2007 at 11:32 am
By chance, I read your entry and it’s a beautiful entry. I’m a Vietnamese student and now I’m studying in Academy of Journalism and Communication. Our group is doing a research “Foreigners’ Culture Shock coming to Vietnam”. And I hope you can give me more some information, your feeling, your thought when you came to Vietnam.
Thank you very much.
February 10, 2007 at 11:34 am
I know that you are a Vietnamese but you have a long time to live in the US. So I think you can give us some good ideas
February 10, 2007 at 1:51 pm
Thanh Tam, Please give me your email address and I will email you about “culture shock”. Although I did not really have a lot of challenges living in Viet nam for that half year, there were a few things that came up.
my email is quyhac@gmail.com Email me if you have any questions at all. I’ll be happy to answer them.
Hạc.
January 9, 2008 at 10:27 pm
The hardest part of being in Viet Nam is the last couple of days. I go back when I can. I envy Viet Kieu who can stay for a while. I can extend my month visa but the second time is a real pain.I am hoping that by the time I retire I can stay there. If not then I will retire to Thai Lan or Phi Lo Tan and go back and forth as necessary.