conclusion.

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This past week, finals consumed most of my time. Now it is Saturday and EAP/CIEE just had their award/goodbye luncheon with all the people involved with our study abroad programs. It really hit me today at the lunch that this entire experience is officially over. It somewhat tore me up inside and somewhat depresses me that I will most likely not see a lot of these people again. The past four months, I have been able to befriend people of quite different backgrounds. What study does for you is force you to be with people on a continuous basis. You do not choose if you’ll be around them or not. Even if these people are not the types of people you would generally befriend, because of the situation, you start to really get to know them and understand them. As what has happened for the past four months, I have been able to meet some amazing individuals who shared quite a similar experience to mine. It is bitter sweet. I do not want for it to end, but it must end, and I will look back on it and see the joys we all shared.

As I sit here and write about my growing depression, this of idea of who I am is popping up. How has Vietnam changed me? Before coming here, I went through a phase of denying my American culture, and had great desires to become more “Vietnamese”. After spending some time here, it has definitely helped identify with myself in a different way. The life and customs and interactions with those in Vietnam have allowed me to understand that I can never really be a native Vietnamese. Now I realize how American I am after spending close to six month total in Vietnam. But this fact does not mean I leave my Vietnamese in the dust. By being here, I have learned so much more about my culture, improved my language skills, and been able to interact, and build relationships with my brothers and sisters. I am not the same person I was 5.5 months ago. I can say that Vietnam has changed me completely. My entire outlook in life. The way of thinking, and just being more open to different perspectives and opinions. I never expected such a huge change, but such suprises are always the best. Although I was born in Chicago and lived my entire life in the States, my heart truly does lie in Vietnam. Despite all the mumbo jumbo from certain Viet Kieu people about Vietnam’s politics, it has no affect on how I perceive Vietnam.

I view such experiences as somewhat like a photograph. At the moment when the image is captured, we experience great, joyful things, which can be seen by the smiles on our faces. But after that very second, it is over, and the only thing that exists of that moment is the image, the picture. For my study abroad experience, it can somewhat be described as such. It has officially concluded and these experiences we’ve shared, in time, will never exist again. But through the photograph of our memories, it will always be with us.

In all honesty, studying in Vietnam has changed my life in more than one way, and I want to thank everyone who has supported me, befriended me, taught me, guided me throughout these times of self-exploration and journey of understanding more of my motherland.

Until next time. (i feel as if i’m going to shed tears writing this, there is no next time!)

Trần Qúy Hạc.

P.S. I am in South Vietnam and Cambodia for 10 days total, so I will update about that in one final post. Goodbye wordpress blog, and goodbye Vietnam!

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