halloween, introductions, and thoughts.

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Halloween

Halloween, as most Americans know, was yesterday. Here in Việt Nam, the holiday is not really practiced. So like the imperialists Americans are, the American students threw a halloween party for the HUFS students a couple of days ago. My initial plan was to dress up as a bowl of phở tái, but it is quite hard to find cardboard here in Hà Nội. I actually contemplated not going to the EAP party, but last minute, I threw on just normal clothes, and went as myself. Lame, I know, but it was a better idea than sitting in my room doing jackshit. I was glad I went to the party. It consisted of bia hơi, and little party games such as wrapping people in toilet paper and picking up apples out of buckets filled with water. The group went bowling afterwards.

Huy, Chỉ Hoa, and I were on one team. Our opponents: Julie Nguyễn, Tommy, and his cousin. It is very hard for Vietnamese people to just play for fun. There needs to be some sort of wager. Me being in Việt Nam did not make it any easier to stray away from such wagers. The losing team would have to split 100 pushups amongst the three. After a game ended, I put my arm muscles to use.

Afterwards, Hảo, Kara, and I headed to this huge halloween celebration near Hồ Tây. Ngọc and Hà were waiting for us; maybe for an hour. For only 7$, it was definitely a steal. I would have to say, this party might have been one of the best I attended since coming to Viẹt Nam. Another thing I realized is that going to these types of parties with friends or meeting a couple of people you know there is much more enjoyable if you were to know close to no one. This possibly applies in similar situations around the globe. Kevin and Chris Minh from EAP showed up an hour later or so. As I walked in, Lừu slapped my arm to say hello. I danced with her and most of her friends for mostly the rest of the night. I arrived to A2 at around 3:00 AM.

Introductions
A few from our group had a 9:00 AM appointment. Tuân invited us to his friend’s house near Bát Tràng, ceramic village, to hang out, eat, relax, and fish. We got onto the motorbikes and rode over 10 KM, which is close to a measly 4-5 miles, to the village near Bát Tràng. As I walked into the place, my stomach was quite content as my eyes were greeted by Linh’s mother sitting at the table mixing up the insides of spring rolls. Jacob, Kara, and I helped out with wrapping the spring rolls, which turned out to be a good experience. Linh Cún complimented me for wrapping the best, but that is only because I have rolled spring/eggrolls before back in the States. We all feasted like kings.

Lounging around followed, and some fishing afterwards. The only to catch a fish, without much effort and work, was Jacob. Essentially by resting his fishing rod on the ground, with a stool holding it in place, a catfish dived for the worm and was tricked by a more intelligent species. After this capturing of the fish, we all decided to stop by Bát Tràng for a look. I really did not want anything, and either did anyone else, but Nguyệt did, which held us up for about 45 minutes (I’m never going to forgive you Nguyệt!). Finally after our lovely trip, I returned back to A2, where my uncle had been waiting for thirty minutes.

A family dinner at Chú Hiên’s house. I would finally meet his oldest daughter, Hạnh, my cousin who is twenty plus my senior. Of course, in Vietnamese tradition, she calls me Anh and I call her Em, since my father is older than my uncle. I still cannot grasp these titles one must use when it comes to family ranking. For those of you who do not know, the word ‘Em’ is generally used for someone who is younger than you, either male or female. The word ‘Anh’ is used to address males who are older than you. Rarely do you use it vice versa; only in family situations such as the one I am in. Despite these hesitation to call my older cousins ‘Em’, I tried it anyway. Why not? They probably have no problem calling me ‘Anh’; I don’t think so at least, so why should I have a problem? But anyways, we ate lậu at my uncles house. It was quite tasty, but more so filling. Following our dinner, my uncle drove me back to A2 where I planned on starting my essay, but instead browsed useless things online.

Thoughts

I find it quite interesting when looking at the relationships, new ones in particular that last for only a short while. During this weekend adventure I was able to meet a few new people, two Linhs and Thúy. All three are great to be around, chat with, and are extremely humorous in their own way. I do plan to spend some time with these new friends I have made with the little time I have left here in Hà Nội. But the interesting thing that I always think about it what impact they have on my life. Impacts often are seen as titanic positive influences, but I like to view them differently. You know, the short time I share with these people, and all the others I have met here in Hà Nội may only last until the end of December, but I am confident that even though I may never see these people again, the short time I’ve spent with them will be engraved in my memory for years to come. It is a possibility we may cross paths again, it may not be. But I view every relationship, to the one time chat with someone the the Chicago ‘L’ to the relationship with a signifant other as a part of shaping who you are and what your views may be. In essence, it is quite interesting for me to view these new relationships that have been forged with these very friendly individuals.

Prior to this past weekend, for maybe around a week or two, I have been somewhat beginning to not enjoy Việt Nam as much as I did previously. But after the halloween party, spending it with new friends from both the U.S. and V.N., I realized that being in any way bitter about Việt Nam was useless. Why not enjoy the time I have left rather than picking out the negative aspects of it. Also, hanging out with the new folks this past Sunday really made me reconsider these negative thoughts lingering around in my head. It was a simple day, where we just lounged around and talked, but it really effected me. It is not a grand event where it has impacted me so profoundly, but rather a small simple one, that has the same effect. I don’t know what it is, but it is just the fact that at that particular time and place, we all enjoyed each others company and had a wonderful time. These type of simple events often times have the greatest effect on one. With that, it leads to this idea of returning back to Hà Nội after I graduate to find work with an NGO for two years. The pollution, the noise, the actions of some people, etc had me deciding against coming back to Hà Nội after graduation and looking at other possibilities. But this past weekend has opened my eyes not only to how I should feel towards the country but also how the country will be integrated into my future. It has rejuvinated me to again look into the possibility of finding work for two years here after graduation.

The last thought is about family. Exactly what is family? Can someone who is not blood to you be family? Can someone who is your blood, but you have never known be family? I would say yes to both. It is all a matter of how one perceives it. Through my perception, a very close, good friend can be family as well as a distant relative you’ve met for the first time. The only difference is the feeling of family and the actual fact that one is family. In the instance of a close friend, one may feel so comfortable around them, share details with them, and trust them greatly as if they are blood. In such an instance, one can take that good friend(s) as family. In the other instance, which I am currently experiencing now, where one meets their blood relatives for the first time is family. You have a bond through the branches of the family tree even if you do not have the same connection you do to your extremely close friends. This past month or two, I have been given the opportunity to meet my father’s younger brother for the first time and get to know him and his family more. At first, it was somewhat awkward because I knew nothing of them. The only thing connecting us two was my father. But throughout these past few months, I have gotten to know them more and have created a connection with them which I hope will grow stronger. When I am at my uncle’s house sometimes, it often hits me how there are some things that are so familiar between him and my own father, both physically and personality wise. Don’t get me wrong, there are many differences, but there are some things, which can be hard to put into words, that are similar between my father and his brother. They have the same hands, and some of their jokes are similiar. They both laugh hysterically at their own jokes, even if they may not be funny to others. It is somewhat odd to see such things. Initially, my uncle was just a man who shared the same blood with me, but now it is much deeper and more than that. It will be great for my father to reunite with his brother after so many years of separation. And I am sure that such thoughts and even wilder ones will linger in my father’s mind when that time comes.

Until next time.

Trần, Qúy-Hạc.

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